Fifty Shades of Blue

Forget Fifty Shades of Grey, what about Fifty Shades of Blue?

Air Force, Alice, Azure, Eton, Royal, Oxford, Teal, Turquoise, Ultramarine, Duke, Cambridge, Persian, Electric, Cerulean, Cyan, Sky, Baby, Celeste, Sapphire, Steel, Midnight, Egyptian, Iris, Zaffre, Yale, Navy Blue...the list goes on.

To be honest, I think I would struggle to come up with fifty different shades of blue, and before you berate me for failing to name the different shades of my plastic, I would ask you how many shades of beige you can name? Probably just the one, unless you decided to add adjectives; light beige, dark beige, speckled beige, pinkie beige, dull beige, bright beige, and so forth. Adding adjectives is nothing to boast about!

I confess that, despite this picture, I haven’t actually read the book that I have parodied in the title; Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L James.  Due to the quantity of people I have seen reading this novel on the tube in London, there is part of me that would love to jump on the band waggon to see what all the fuss is about. However, there is another element of my personality that means I distance myself from anything popular. It took me long enough to sign up to a blog, despite encouragement from my mates on the Norwich market stall.  I have also yet to enter the twitter universe. I did try once, but I became so overwhelmed with the implications of having my daily thoughts broadcast across the globe that I cancelled my account. The truth is my daily thoughts just aren’t that interesting! #itstoughbeingabag.

Following lifestyle trends is something I tend to avoid. When I was a young bag, I shied away from working in an off license, as this is where all the trendy blue bags worked. I even renounced the London market lifestyle in favour of Norwich.  Unfortunately, I have an additive personailty, which means I find it hard to stop once I have started. I find it hard to admit to now, but there was one point in my life when carrying around a pack of pokemon cards was the ultimate thrill! 

However, as I am sure you are well aware by now, my will power, unlike my strong handles, never holds out. Like the unfortunate Pokemon episode, curiosity eventually gets the better of me. Therefore, I am sure to pick up E.L James’ book soon.  I only hope that her writing makes up for her unfortunate choice of colour in the title. Christian Blue would have made a far more colourful character than Christian Grey!