Fifty Shades of Blue

Forget Fifty Shades of Grey, what about Fifty Shades of Blue?

Air Force, Alice, Azure, Eton, Royal, Oxford, Teal, Turquoise, Ultramarine, Duke, Cambridge, Persian, Electric, Cerulean, Cyan, Sky, Baby, Celeste, Sapphire, Steel, Midnight, Egyptian, Iris, Zaffre, Yale, Navy Blue...the list goes on.

To be honest, I think I would struggle to come up with fifty different shades of blue, and before you berate me for failing to name the different shades of my plastic, I would ask you how many shades of beige you can name? Probably just the one, unless you decided to add adjectives; light beige, dark beige, speckled beige, pinkie beige, dull beige, bright beige, and so forth. Adding adjectives is nothing to boast about!

I confess that, despite this picture, I haven’t actually read the book that I have parodied in the title; Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L James.  Due to the quantity of people I have seen reading this novel on the tube in London, there is part of me that would love to jump on the band waggon to see what all the fuss is about. However, there is another element of my personality that means I distance myself from anything popular. It took me long enough to sign up to a blog, despite encouragement from my mates on the Norwich market stall.  I have also yet to enter the twitter universe. I did try once, but I became so overwhelmed with the implications of having my daily thoughts broadcast across the globe that I cancelled my account. The truth is my daily thoughts just aren’t that interesting! #itstoughbeingabag.

Following lifestyle trends is something I tend to avoid. When I was a young bag, I shied away from working in an off license, as this is where all the trendy blue bags worked. I even renounced the London market lifestyle in favour of Norwich.  Unfortunately, I have an additive personailty, which means I find it hard to stop once I have started. I find it hard to admit to now, but there was one point in my life when carrying around a pack of pokemon cards was the ultimate thrill! 

However, as I am sure you are well aware by now, my will power, unlike my strong handles, never holds out. Like the unfortunate Pokemon episode, curiosity eventually gets the better of me. Therefore, I am sure to pick up E.L James’ book soon.  I only hope that her writing makes up for her unfortunate choice of colour in the title. Christian Blue would have made a far more colourful character than Christian Grey!

BLUE saw U - Take 8

The nature of this picture may lead you to believe that I have recently been basking in equatorial sunshine. Not so! This was a rare moment of sunshine in a week beset with rain. Andy Murray was rained off Wimbledon but still managed to make it to the semi-finals in a nerve rustling fourth set tie-break with David Ferrer. If he gets to the finals it will be the first time a man has done so since 1938, when Henry "Bunny" Austin lost to defending champion American, Don Budge. Bunny was, incidentally, the first tennis player to wear shorts! I wish Murray the best of luck when he plays the number five seed, Jo Wilfried-Tsonga tomorrow.

Although it probably isn't linked to Murray's success, this guy on Oxford Street clearly seems to be enjoying himself with a multitude of blue bags at his side. Now, this may be a wild stab in the dark, but I have a feeling he may have spotted me. It's the way he's looking directly at the camera that hints to me that he may be wandering what a blue bag is doing, pointing a lens in his direction. Since he didn't look like the kind of guy you'd want to mess with, I moved on sharpish. Disappointing, because I was keen to find out where he was headed! One of these days I would love to be part of the in-crowd.

 

On a completely separate note, it was announced this week that Airbus, the aeroplane manufacturer, is set to create seats especially designed for larger people. Normally seats are 18 inches wide but the new seat will be 20 inches. However the middle and window seats will become 17 inches each. As a bag, all I can say is at least you have separate seats!

 

In the overhead compartments, plastic bags are often crushed mercilessly under the weight of suitcases and other forms of hand luggage. Therefore I would advice Airbus to consider the plight of bags. Separate sections would be most welcome and would prevent unwanted physical contact with other bags. Personal space is very important to blue bags!